Snow...

On a recent shopping trip for Christmas presents, the following conversation was recorded in my brain. I share it here as a parable to any who struggle with "goodwill" toward men and women this Christmas season.

Me: Hey lady, didn't you see me WAITING to drive my car into that parking spot?

Sleepy: She didn't see you, Mack. Lean back, relax, it is Christmas after all. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Me: Yeah, whatever, but SHE saw me and I don't appreciate her inconsiderate, bah humbug attitude. OK, well, here's another spot. We might as well go in to Best Buy to pick up the video game my daughter wants.

Doc: You're buying a video game for your daughter? I thought those were primarily for boys.

Me: Well, there are a few without gratuitous violence, soft porn, or, well, you get the idea. Still, I don't like the way the guy at the counter is taking SO long with that lady, who does she think she is? Snow White?

Sneezy: It's Advent. Isn't Advent about waiting? Ahahahahahchooooooo!

Me: What? Are you crazy, what does that have to do with my shopping list and Christmas? By the way, bless you.

Happy: Advent has NOTHING to do with your list, but I think you could learn something from the concept "Come, thou long expected Jesus!" Like DELAYED gratification. It could make you feel, well, a little joy, or something.

Me: Man, you guys are out of touch with the true meaning of Christmas. It's all about getting in the mall and OUT in the least amount of time, with the fewest altercations while spending the least amount of money possible. It has nothing to do with all these other high-falutin' ideas. I still can't figure out why I have to get this stuff. That's why I got married after all, so SHE could do my gift shopping.

Bashful: Um, uh, ah, um, we, we, uh, have some major, uh, blame shifting happening here, sir. I, uh, um, think you have a bad attitude, if you beg my pardon.

Me: Darn right, it isn't my responsibility ... hey, could we hurry it up up there, please! I have a game to watch ... AT HOME!

Cashier: Hold on, Grumpy, I'll be with you in a second! Merry Christmas, Ma'am! NEXT!

Come, Thou long expected Jesus
Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in Thee.
Israel’s Strength and Consolation,
Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear Desire of every nation,
Joy of every longing heart.

Born Thy people to deliver,
Born a child and yet a King,
Born to reign in us forever,
Now Thy gracious kingdom bring.
By Thine own eternal Spirit
Rule in all our hearts alone;
By Thine all sufficient merit,
Raise us to Thy glorious throne.