Beloved...

I have been reading and thinking about God, yes, dear reader, once again the subject comes to mind and blog. But this is not, I hope, the usual drivel to proceed from the mouth of a Christian apologist, but rather a fair-minded approach to what He's up to in my life and yours.

I am not, by nature, a difficult person, nor am I pessimistic and yet I have those days. When things aren't going right I tend to first blame myself, then, when that gets old, I go straight for the Big Man Himself. Who better to blame then the one who could, but obviously didn't, make everything work out? There was a day recently where this was the case. In fact it was so bad that I was not just blaming Him, but myself as well, sort of a double barreled approach to the blame game.

I know, or am reasonably certain He doesn't laugh when I am such a mood, but it must be amusing to watch a mere mortal such as I go through this bit of Tom-foolery. First and foremost, blame does no good especially when it is over not much at all, just my own self condemnation. But the idea that blaming both He and me (I know, the grammatical error is for effect!) helps either party is the rarest of fallacious thinking. It even makes me smile, at least now, to think that I thought that it could be of some assistance. Ah, therein lies the rub ... that somehow the blame game is something that can help! Not at all, it is all about punishment, scapegoating, if you will.

Human beings want justice, no matter that we are often our own wrongdoers, so we go to work to punish ourselves for whatever we feel we have done that is embarassing, stupid, you name it. It happens to me in my business when I make a decision that doesn't, well, turn out like I thought it might! So, BAM, I go to work punishing myself for that decision. FORGET the fact that, unlike 90% of the world, I at least MAKE decisions! Somehow it didn't work out JUST right so I am going to kick the snot out of myself and, well, the one person who could have made it work!!!! Hello? Am I making any sense? You've done it, too, admit.

Of course God is not to blame and, well, that isn't the point anyway. We point fingers, He simply waits. We rage at the storm, like Lieutenant Dan in Forrest Gump, as the Hurricane blows he yells, "Is this the best you've got?" or something like that. But God is waiting. waiting for the storm to end, the clouds to clear, the sun to shine. He is waiting to whisper sweetness to our soul, words of relief ... I love you, I am not looking to blame you, I forgive you (if this is needed), I will help clean up the mess. And finally, you are my beloved.

Yes, my beloved. Yes, YOU are my beloved. No matter what you have done, said, where you have been, what you have thought, even about Him, He is ready to bring rest to your exhausted, raging soul. I know it's true. He just did it for me. And I am grateful.